Grateful Today: The Gift of Eulogizing

"The Taurus-Scorpio opposition is exactly where my North-South Nodal Axis sits natally. It’s a powerful time for me as I grieve my brother’s death, write and record his eulogy, and experience what comes when one weighs up a lifetime of knowing, loving and losing. What counts? In the end … it is all about how well I have learned to love, and be loved.-my comment on Elsa Elsa's blog post  Venus Opposing Saturn, tomorrow, June 12, 2014

How like the North Node Symbol is the Logitech USB Headset !(run your cursor and link)

This weekend Pete and I took a wonderful Sunday drive. The bright yellow Scotch Broom has finally bloomed their heads off, and I can travel with less difficulty. I had a goal in mind as we headed north to Freeland, and Radio Shack. "I'm gonna need to kick up my technological know-how!" I told my sister in law. The mo'olelo, the story of my brother's life, was written. The words, the symbols, the memories and the value of a fully lived life were all there on the cyber-paper. To get those words to my family for the memorial service later this month would require creating an audio file on my computer. Not a difficult thing for many people, I however, had never done that. I asked my son for directions. He gave me some, and it helped. I 'googled' and that helped; I found the steps to do the recording, found the software on our computer. All I needed now was a microphone with a USB plug. The young Asian man, who has helped me before when I needed to buy a zip drive, took me to the wall of two kinds of headphone mics. The two mics were encased in that hard plastic, so I couldn't feel them. One of them, a Logitech USB Headset was one of the mics I'd researched on the internet. Of the two it was the more expensive, but my sense was that'll do. The young man with the very cool white decorated eyeglass frames commended me on my choice, and said, "Two to one, that's the one most people buy." Good customer service. He was not pushy, but offered information, let me choose, and reinforced the choice I made. In my former career life customer service training was my gig. I paid, and thanked him.

Once out of that hard plastic packaging, Pete helped me start the off-gassing process. Stuff has lots of chemical residue ... it's all chemicals! For an afternoon, and overnight we let the Logitech H390 air in the bright sun, and breathe a little. Monday morning, I sat at the computer, pulled up the mo'olelo and made a few additions and pulled together the flow and the wording for my brother's eulogy. Safety Pins hold the story together as the symbol and metaphor that bridges and connects the people, choices and gifts that are the life I remember as my brother's. Once the written story was done, my technological challenge was hanging on a hook. Was I ready for this? I wasn't sure, but took a step. Then I took another step, plugged in the jack, found the audio record program, put the mic over my head. The written file could be read off the screen. The morning was quiet, and I adjusted the mic.

The story written and recorded for the telling of my brother's fully lived life starts with ...

"Hi Kalani, Kawika. It’s Aunty Titi. Richie and Keke, you have never met me, but I have a safety pin on my shirt to keep you attached to me as I get ready to tell a story -- a short one, about your father-in-law, and your Grampa. You might not know how important safety pins are in the Calizar Family. I hope this story will help..."

The recording was done in one reading, and is fifteen minutes long. Technology allowed me to show up, be present, and do what I know has heart and meaning. My husband Pete, and my son Christopher have listened to the recording and we agree It's a wrap. There are other pieces that need to be added: a beautiful rendition of a favorite song my son is recording, and a few photos for a slide show to accompany the story. We have time to assemble those parts. All the while the astrology of a Venus in Taurus opposing Saturn in Scorpio sky gives me the opportunity to weigh the wants and needs of what is truly valuable. Creating a Rite of Passage such as we are doing for my brother provides a gift to be truly grateful for. In the eulogizing of someone who I have loved, and been challenged by, all my life I come closer to loving fully myself. The technological device I hunted for, and found, the headset microphone perched upon my head is that North Node symbol, the bridge perfectly suited to take me where my soul directed my hands and my feet. Now that is magic in practice. A gift to acknowledge, a bridge to walk with a full-face smile!