Grateful Today: Experiencing the 'Journey' of the Moon's Nodes

" Taurus North Node/Scorpio South Node
Those with south node in Scorpio have come from lifetimes of deeply understanding others’ pain and suffering, including their own. They, like Libra south node, have always thought of themselves as a part of a duo, rather than singularly. But with Scorpio south node, the ante has been upped. The experiences aren’t just about relating, its about relationships of unusual intensity and most likely, crisis types of situations in relationships that truly test the soul’s resilience...What is the ultimate evolutionary purpose for these people? SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY. From complex relationships to the simplification of their own spirit. How is that done? By first eliminating (good Scorpio word) as many complications as they can, and find the still, simple life of just BEING, without all that drama added. If everything is so intense emotionally, from the Scorpio south node, it would stand to reason that perhaps this lifetime is just finding a place to settle down, within oneself? If they can separate themselves from their own and others’ very demanding dramas, they can learn the ultimate lesson: to be at ease and totally comfortable."- Eileen Grimes for AboutAstrology.com

This depiction symbolizes the circular journey of the Dragon/Serpent (often the archetypal creature of death/rebirth), and the evolution or journey of a human being based on the position of the Moon's Nodes at the time of birth. The earphone like symbol (to the left in this drawing) is the North Node. The symbol opposite it is the South Node. Eastern astrology often describes the journey of the soul's journey as that of moving from the Tail of the Dragon (the South Node) toward the Mouth of Dragon (the North Node), which in metaphoric turns offers the human being and her evolving soul the journey (life) of feeding the Dragon.

I was born with the signature of a Scorpio South Node, and Taurus North Node. For many years now, especially since the years of diaspora my ongoing quest has been to simplify my life, and my self, from the intensity of crisis after crisis. The irony and the reality of that quest is that in the settling down to root, old habits and old projections die hard! Perhaps it is in that recognition of 'die hard' while I sort through the grief process today, that is the gift and the charm hidden in the difficulty.

Surrounded as I am by the Tribe of Thousands (the Tree People of Fir, Pine, Cedar and Alder) I live with the beings who ground. 24/7 the Tribe of Thousands 'speak' to me, and give me the lesson I so need to integrate. Simply, simply, simply ... ground. The chain saws may come and cut us down. Simply, simply, simply ... ground. People will burn us down.  Simply, simply, simply ... ground. Over, and over the trees show me as they stand with roots out of sight and heads in the heavens how it is done. Their trunks grow daily, they sway in the wind. Their branches make music and make homes for the seen and unseen. Music starts with their presence, ends with their grounding.

Though I struggle even with all this tree wisdom feeding the mouth of my Taurus North Node, the trees teach me. They don't judge my flailing, but they do remain constant: rooted, reaching, touching the heavens, bringing the heavens down to earth. My gratefulness is in the awareness that I do struggle and I do suffer. That is the truth; but it is not everything. Many moments of calm feed my soul. My relationships test me even in the calm, there is a choice I think. Will I be calm enough to communicate and speak truthfully without judgement? I am hopeful. My Brother David's death, and passing is offering me the window of hopeful. Hope, that tiny creature last in the chest of chaos when Pandora's Box was opened. That's the one creature I put my faith in .. Grateful to notice she is there!

Grateful Today: The Practice of Asking and Seeing People

"We must slow down to a human tempo and we'll begin 

to have time to listen." 

- Thomas Merton

"How long will you keep pounding on an open door, begging for someone to open it?"

-Rab'ia al-Adawiyya

Yesterday I had difficulty breathing. In the space between sleep and waking one word came, "Nebulizer." It took me a few heart beats to recognize the guidance ... straight forward direction. Under the futon was the nebulizer given to me by an old friend when I was first diagnosed with multiple sensitivities that needed to be addressed with new approaches. Nebulizing is not new, but it was at the time, something new to me. My old friend treated herself with that nebulizer, and treated her mother with it as well. During the year of living on the road, and without any formal structure of safety, that old nebulizer was a life-saver. Even without a roof over my head, we would find places to plug in the compressor, add a small amount of filtered water, add glutithione drops, and inhale the moist air to comfort my tightened lungs. 

Yesterday, Pete and I dusted off the tool that I've not needed for more than 4 years, and slowly I calmed to the draw of moisture to soothe my lungs. Grieving brings up old losses, and sometimes old tools are the charm hidden in the difficulty. I asked Pete to stay home yesterday, and be with me rather than go to work being out and about as he usually is. That request worked to the extent that we each loosened our cardinal grip on what 'being with me' meant to each of us. The short version of the experience is we each lived our lives as we are: Pete multi-tasking and me surprising people with my vulnerability. We blew up at each other, Pete and I, as I asked for one too many things of him; and now I see old patterns of dependency that has (surely) added to my burden as sensitive to everything. The definitions we had weren't the same.

I am grateful today for recognizing my need to be fed, and comforted during this time of grief. If I can learn to ask for what I really need it is a step forward healing deeply the Wounded Child of the North" as Angeles Arrien teaches in her work The Four-Fold Way. A strange but deeply soulful and real thing happens when grief opens the heart to truth. With all the confusion that I process, the limitations manifested in my inability to get on a plane to be at my brother's death-bed has swirled the cauldron of my storyteller's magic. If, as I believe, my role is to tell the stories, I find the root of one of my stories rots and offers me something ... a new tool to reclaim my birthright of breath. "Low self-esteem and the inability to see oneself correctly is often at the root of the pattern of hiding or holding back," wrote Arrien. How do you feed a ghost (the invisible self, the invisible child in need)? The years of living with an illness that can render a person invisible, or more invisible if there was, as with me, a predisposition to become invisible at a very young age. Grappling with the deep stuff of the soul anything is possible! It is the stuff of magic and sometimes, it is not easy.

Today, here at the Safety Pin Cafe, my practice of asking and responding with the help of an old tool, used on a new day, with a new experience, makes me grateful I can see things anew. Later today, a friend is bringing me bone broth to comfort me. We are communicating without a middle man, and in the process we both may be made stronger. I am writing to disperse the ill-gotten energy and believe "I get to enjoy broth made that will comfort me."

And ... for the record, the bone broth was delivered along with a sweet drawing of mousies tucked into a basket (a Beatrix Potter garage sale treasure) and a basket of spices. I have heated and sipped that comforting broth, munched rosemary toast along with it as the breeze blows sunny energy all around me. I get to enjoy it, I get to! It was delicious. Thank you, M.

Grateful Today: Bringing food to the grieving

The other day a small package arrived in the mail from my sister-in-law who lives in Minnesota. This is the sweet note she enclosed to accompany a ziploc baggie of wild Minnesota rice.

"Dear Moki,

I have always appreciated the long-standing tradition of bringing (or sending) food to the grieving.
We aren't able to bring the rice to you but may the warmth of the wild rice soup comfort your spirit,

With affection,
Margaret and Bill"

Today that "long-standing tradition" is one I so deeply appreciate. We ate the wild rice in a meal earlier this week, but tonight, Pete is making me  Avgolemono Greek Lemon Egg Soup. I need to be fed, me who is usually the cook, and as I lie on the futon this morning thoughts of grief-comforting filled me: roast organic turkey, the whole turkey roasted and available for eating when the need rises; bone broths, homemade soups of all kinds.

We're working on the roasted organic turkey, and I have made a vegetable broth using the beautiful dark green head of Tatsoi pictured above, which Pete harvested yesterday. Brown rice is cooking in the freshly-made broth, and two of our hens' eggs will be whipped into the soup, and lemon added to give it a zingy kick. I'm heading back to that futon. Grateful for the food sent, brought, and made to comfort my spirit. Thank you Margaret and Bill, and Pete.

Never under-estimate comfort. "Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose--a point on which the soul may fix it's intellectual eye."

Grateful today

"Let us learn to skillfully draw good out of what would otherwise cause us harm"

-St. Mary Eurphrasia Pelletier

Grace, which means a gift freely given that is not earned

A Network for Grateful Living

POB 6748

Ithaca, NY 14851-6748

"Gratitude is essentially the recognition of the unerarned increments of value in one's experience"

-Angeles Arrien

"Gratefulness is the inner gesture of giving meaning to our life by receiving life as a gift."

-Bro. David Steindl-Rast

"Work hard, keep the ceremonies, life peaceably, and unite your hearts."

-Hopi Proverb

"There is really nothing to be afraid of. 

Remember the instruction: Whatever you come across--go beyond."

-Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

"O wondrous creatures, by what strange miracle do you so often not smile?"

-Hafiz

"Providence has hidden a charm in diffult undertakings which is appreciated only by those who dare to grapple with them."

-Anne-Sophle Swetchine

These words of comfort and inspiration come from my practice today of being carried through the Labyrinth Gratefulness.org

CLOSED for a period of mourning

This site is closed as my family and I mourn the loss of my brother, David, and prepare to celebrate his life. Safety pins play an important part in our family's story ... simple and efficient magic (the safety pin) in the right hands know uncommon bonds.

Aloha,
Mokihana

'Ole Pau also means never ending

Today and tonight according to the Hawaiian Moon Calendar Kaulana Mahina, kanaka name the phase 'Ole Pau. Literally translated from Hawaiian the word 'ole means empty, or none; pau means done or over. When you are counting the moon (phases) the 'Ole Pau moon is the fourth day/night when new projects, planting or harvesting is best left for other times. 'Ole phases in general are the times of rest, weeding, repair and preparation. These times, also known as the Quarter Moon phases are the between moons. Times when what was cleared of old and begun with the Empty or Dark Moon have a short but forward motion, a history. When the activities, intentions and projects begun with the Moon's Cycles in mind are attended to the 'Ole Moons are a significant and useful check point and time to consider what is working, what might need tending/mending/weeding.

Hina The Moon moves around us; she moves and affects and is in turn affected by her bigger sister Papa Hana Moku Earth. Hina pulls on the water salty and fresh; the tides rise and fall within the oceans, streams and internal waters with all beings (us included). The sun affects Hina, lighting her so we see her at night. See is also visible on clear days in the morning, or midday, or most of the day if you know to find her. 'Ole Pau (half moon) is one of those see-Hina-in-the-day moons. She rises shortly after noon and will be in the sky until close to 3 AM tomorrow morning.

The cycles of the moon are such a power influence for us on Earth. In addition to pulling on the waters on Earth and us, the moon affects the ways we feel. Our flowing energy -- emotions --- are tapped in different ways, at different times. Astrology and personal tracking has helped me tune myself to Hina. This ramble expands the meaning of the 'Ole Pau moon by living the metaphor of the moon. 'Olelo Hawaii the Hawaiian language is rich with kaona, mixed meanings and poetic significances. Indigenous cultures like that of the Kanaka Maoli lives and sustains because its language is rich, multiply applicable and hidden with meanings that ripen when the student is ready.

Blessed with the energy of a moon that also means 'never ending' this mo'olelo (this post) celebrates the continuity of Common Magic for Uncommon Necessity ... the service which is at the foundation of The Safety Pin Cafe. The service: stories. The venue: Medicine Stories The vehicle: cyberspace all the time and story tents Summer and Fall. The Lunar New Year 2014 began with Medicine Story #2: The Joy Weed Journal. The tales from the mythic town of Salish grow with birthing twins born from eggs and the introduction of a timeless traveler and guide named MAX. Time does move, and our characters age. The medicine and magic loves being part of my world, so it persists and insists on being born, too.

On this 'Ole Pau Moon, Medicine Story #3 is now being offered as I write it. Magic is never ending, and how lucky I am to have a higher power who loves speak to me through story! If you love the never ending story you might like reading this: Mend Meddle Magic is its name.

"Copper is for luck!" Pick a penny, tuck it safe. Watch it grow. Read the newest medicine story, enjoy the magic once more. And if you click on the video on the sidebar 'MUDPIES TO MA'O' you'll see how that young woman's story inspired medicine in Mend Meddle Magic.

Aloha nui loa a pau,

Mokihana

Makawalu ... unfurling spring comes

The slender head of the dragon rises from the forest floor. Nearly invisible, we spot her and stop to revel in the cycle of birthing. This is MAKAWALU (click to listen and see this Hawaiian life process explained)

The sign, signatures, tattoos leave messages for those who notice. Etched into the pollen and dust rich wall there! Mo'o, the Dragon Mother climbed up to tell me "Awake. Winter dark times are pau. Birth the eggs. Give birth to your power!"

"These blossoms are beautiful such a contrast to everything around them." Max was noticing the salmon berries. The first berries of spring, the flowers would drop their petals and the plump flesh that followed promised me the taste of guavas.

"Salmon berries," I said as I sloshed into a puddle hiding under the moldy compost of alder leaves. It wasn't necessary to talk with Max; thoughts played equally with words in his world. But saying, naming things so my eyes heard from the outside in was fun.

"How hospitable of them." Max was laughing as he lifted the face of a bright fushia salmon berry blossom. Combining his facility to hear my words and thoughts I enjoyed the forest walks and practiced." - The Joy Weed Journal

I am reading The Healing Power of the Sacred Woman Health, Creativity, and Fertility for the Soul by Christine R. Page. Pete and I listened to an interview with her a few weeks ago on New Dimension radio. I loved the sound of her voice and the laughter that was ready more than a period, or an exclamation. The joy of that voice drew me to seek more of her. I found her book at our wonderful local library and at first skimmed the paperback; found topics that stuck to me like honey; and now dig into her informative mystical physician offerings. Christine Page is trained as a medical doctor, but it is her intuitive and reconnective awareness that is the honey for me. She reminds me of the natural cycle of life and death. "The ancients clearly understood that this is our covenant with the Great Mother. She promises to continually fill us with pure inspiration ... so that through creative manifestation we are fed and nourished. But this agreement is made on one condition: although we can enjoy and be expanded by our creations, we should never try to possess or become possessed by them. As with the dying sun and moon, there will come a time when we will be required to offer back to the Great Mother the seeds of our experiences, better know as wisdom, so she can grow in consciousness. Once the seeds are implanted in the womb of the Mother, then the experience itself dies, for it has fulfilled its purpose. Nothing is permanent; this is a Universal Law."

The process of creating, art, or life in its everyday magic, follows this Universal Law of seeding, growth and fulfillment. As the spring signals new growth or birthing I make the time to celebrate birth before moving quickly into new ventures or further ventures. In what Page names as The Harvesting Phase, I, a woman creating, goes through a shift in mood. "as a woman begins to turn her attention inward. She becomes more self-absorbed as she nurtures herself with the fruits of her endeavors from the past few weeks and is able to reflect on what she will take from her experience and what she will release during her moon time (new moon, dark moon). The Full Moon in Virgo has just passed, today and tonight is the first moon about the fullest light. I give myself the ritual of reflection now and that is a gift I have so often skipped, but not this time.

Yesterday I celebrated the medicine story's conclusion with this post, and final entry in The Joy Weed Journal. Pale the border witch has a conversation with her time-traveling godfather Max. He asks her how she feels about being eighty years old. Part of her reply is:

"After all the years of being on the border of cultures, my life in Salish has been my initiation into the deep comfort with my body, satisfying my soul's yearning, accepting my human mistakes. Most important though I have come to know the wisdom of Papa Hanau Moku -- Earth, and Mo'okiha,  dragon mother, my 'aumakua. The twins born decades after my monthly blood had ceased opened up the vastness of a woman's awesome power; her choice to embrace a loyal lover of any species. Who said the division of ancient values would cease because the conqueror made new rules? My mind was swimming with implications."

The border witch and her deep initiation becomes part of my harvest time, resting and reflecting before I push onward with the work of raising the story into performance. That part -- performance and storytelling, will be how we re-open the flaps, doors and windows to The Safety Pin Cafe. In the meantime the salmon berry blossoms spread their faces, the head of dragon fern heads reach up, and this old woman wiggles her toes and gives thanks for it all.